Winner, Winner Zombie Dinner

I'm a pretty lucky guy. Last month I won three Permuted Press titles of my choice (I picked David Dunwoody's Empire, their anthology: Cthuthlu Unbound and The Oblivion Society by Marcus Alexander Hart) during Choate Road's Horror Bail Out, and now I've also got some more swag from Zombie Mall, your online source for awesome zombie accoutrement. I had entered the contest they ran in Shroud issue # 6 and good old Brian Hardin boxed me up Donna Lynch's Isabel Burning from Raw Dog Screaming Press, a couple sweet key chains and a pair of bumper stickers. So a big thanks to Brian. All of you faithful readers should stop by the store and his very cool blog.

I'll have reviews up of the books as soon as I free up some reading time, they all look great. Thanks to everyone involved for hooking me up with some prizes.

Something's Wrong With Esther: "I'll say, Her movie is about 30 minutes too long"

I had not even heard of Orphan before last week. Well that's not 100% true: I had seen the poster but I really did not give the film much thought until I saw Roger Ebert's glowing 3 and a 1/2 star review. I did a bit of Imdb-ing and found out what a strong cast it had: the awesome Peter Sarsgaard, Vera Farminga (The Departed) , CCH Pounder (tv's The Shield). I figured I'd roll the dice.

The film has a very nicely done first half: we are given a sinking feeling in our stomach, dreading the uncomfortable violence about to ensue. Then the film takes a detour to by-the-numbers-Fatal Attraction-rip-off-disposable-crap-ville for the last half hour and we are left feeling gypped. I'm not complaining about the film's body count (it is incredibly low, though) nor the much talked-about "twist." I'm talking about the overall feeling that the film switches genre's in the final act. The audience was watching a flawed-but-tense horror film with moments approaching greatness (particularly the Russian roulette scene, which is down right creepy), and then they have to sit through milquetoast "Hollywood thriller" clichés as Vera Farminga dukes it out with a pint sized Glenn Close for the final moments(complete with pithy one-liners).

It's like we're watching two different movies, one of them awesome. The cast performs well and the direction is competent. Everything looks slicker than your average B-picture, and that only adds to the disappointment. The silver lining of me seeing this is that I can point you, loyal reader, towards two "killer kid" movies that you probably missed and are both 10x better than Orphan.

The first is Joshua. If it proves anything it's that you should NEVER let Vera Farminga near your kids, she's obviously a bad influence. This movie came out about two years ago and anyone coming to it after Orphan will be in for a serious case of deja-vu: it's about a young couple whose child is a manipulative and calculated murderer. The similarities don’t end there as the mother is played by none other than VERA FARMINGA(!) this lady appeared in two suspiciously similar killer kid movies a year apart.

All joking aside this movie is what you want to watch if you want a modern "evil kid" movie. It has a slower, deliberate pace that may put off some viewers but strong performances from both Farminga and the great Sam Rockwell along with an absolutely chilling final act make this a must see. It's a real shame that this movie is so little known, Orphan didn't exactly clean house at the box office, but it did well. Joshua only played select cities and then was dumped on dvd
. The world we live in, eh?

Our second group of lil’ devils comes from Spain: 1976's awkwardly-named Who Can Kill a Child? This movie is fantastic, a real hidden classic. When I bring this up in “horror-circles” I am floored by the amount of people who have never even heard of it. If your main gripe with Orphan was that it should have grown a pair, Who Can Kill a Child? will have you eating those words and squirming with discomfort while you do it. Bleak to the nth degree but still very exciting, this film is best described as a zombie movie where the zombies have been replaced with children. To describe it any more would be to spoil it. I don't know if the Dark Sky disc from a couple years back is still on shelves, but Amazon has it
and it is absolutely worth its weight in gold. The only problem I have with the film is its exploitative use of real archival footage of atrocities perpetrated on children in history. It is sick, pointless and I suspect was only added by the producers to add some faux-emotional weight to the film. Thankfully it is placed before the credits and you can avert your eyes (or, dare I say, press skip on your remote) without missing a thing. But believe me: once the movie-proper starts you will not believe what a gem you've been missing.

There you go…three movies. I have to go now, there is work to be done.

The Horror Of War: How A Non-Genre Film Packs More Thrills and Chills Than Any Horror Flick This Year

Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker is the best live action film of the year so far, by far. If you live anywhere near a theater that's playing it you should get in your car NOW. Bigelow's name should be familiar to genre fans for her classic vampire film Near Dark and her controversial but great cyberpunk blockbuster Strange Days and The Hurt Locker is her best film to date. Nearly all of Bigelow's films blend quality film making with high entertainment value. Though fan's attending The Hurt Locker should not expect a Hollywood shoot-em up like Point Break, it has more edge-of your seat moments than any film in recent memory.

The story concerns Bravo Company, a three man bomb squad in Iraq during the height of operations in 2004. The film treats the audience to a countdown of their days left in rotation and it adds to the overall feeling of paranoia and dread, both on-screen and being wreaked on the people in the audience. Paranoia soaks every frame of the film, and that is the main reason it should be experienced on the big screen. During the many tense bomb defusing sequences you will be combing the frame just as carefully as the characters on look out: suspicious of everything and feeling powerless to help when things go wrong.

The film is jam packed with great actors: Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, and David Morse (who steals the best scene with his "wild-man" speech), but the stand out performance comes from Jeremy Renner. Renner (who some readers may remember from 28 Weeks Later, The Assassination of Jesse James and from his incredible performance in the serial killer biopic Dahmer) really shines here and I hope that this will be the film that puts him over the edge to stardom.

Those turned off by politics and running for the hills when they hear the word "Iraq" in a film's description will still enjoy The Hurt Locker, though I doubt anyone will come out of the film "pro-war." Preaching is kept at absolute zero allowing the actions of the characters to speak for themselves and the situations they find themselves in feel more day-to-day than contrived. That's the point though: day-to-day for these guys is anything but.

Sandbox

Don't think I ever posted a direct link to this, it's a story I had featured in, the completely free, issue #8 of Macabre Cadaver. It's short and light ("not my usual...but nice"). I hope you enjoy, and while you're there you should marvel at the spiffy new site design and rate all the stories you read.


Keep on rocking.

The No- So Terrible Twos: 3 Good Modern Horror Sequels

Thanks to Catherine J Gardner for the shout-out over on her blog. Here's a quick post for all the newcomers. Feel free to discuss, and disagree.

Modern horror films get a bad wrap. Don't get me wrong 95% of them deserve it. Sequels seem to have an even worse reputation. It occurred to me, as I discussed the advent of the new 3D Final Destination sequel with a friend, that some of the best horror movies (definitely not the best, mind you) of the last few years, had been sequels to slightly lamer movies.



Case and point: Final Destination 2 the movie that takes the premise of the first film and runs with it. The original was a perfectly harmless way to kill a few hours, but the sequel doubled the body count, quadrupled the blood, and added a few laughs, to make it one of the best times you can have watching annoying people die horribly. That said, the third film was a big steaming pile of suck, proving that there really is no formula to these things.



Another flick I think is criminally underrated is Eli Roth's Hostel: Part II. I didn't even like the first one, I thought the protagonists were too annoying to care about but the violence was so "serious" that Roth was obviously expecting us to. Tonally the second one hits the mark perfectly, it is a very dark film with tiny glimmers of gallows humor. By replacing the intolerable frat guys from the first film with three (not nearly as offensive) girls Roth runs the risk of his crowd crying misogyny, but I think it is apparent to anyone that has seen the film that he pays very close attention to the violence, making it sad and sickening when it needs to be. Another thing the film does right is the casting of "real" actors; stage actor Roger Bart (I saw this dude as Snoopy in You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, how strange is that after seeing this flick?) chews the scenery and adds a touch of class bereft of most horror movies. It's a real bummer that this was such a commercial flop.



Rob Zombie would seem to be the most controversial figures working in the genre today. I would say his first film (House of 1ooo Corpses) is a little bit of a mess, and his latest (Halloween) is a LOT a bit of a mess. But his second film, The Devil's Rejects, which is a quasi-sequel to his first, is absolutely fantastic. Straddling the line between original and Tarantino-esque pastiche, Reject's is at once fun, disturbing and genuinely exciting. This is Zombie at his most disciplined (the cameos don't get entirely out of hand, the Southern-fried dialogue actually fits, and the soundtrack is fantastic) and re-watching it makes one hold out (a little) hope for his upcoming Halloween sequel, because as it shows he is capable of making great films, though he doesn't always.

None of these movies re-invent the wheel, but they all deserve far more respect than the number 2 usually implies.

Joe Hill's Locke & Key Brings The Horror and The Heart

"Joe Hill is some kinda genius." That was the thought I had after closing issue six of Locke & Key: Head Games. Hill, the author of the excellent novel Heart Shaped Box and the even-better collection 20th Century Ghosts, is fast becoming a juggernaut in the horror field. He could stick exclusively with prose and still make a big splash in the genre, but it is his most accomplished work to date is in the much-maligned field of comics.

The unique structure of Locke & Key is almost as revolutionary as the content. Hill has constructed each six issue mini-series to represent half of an "Act," with the entire story being told in three acts. After each mini-series Hill and artist Gabriel Rodriguez take a little time off, preparing the next series. This allows the story to be told smoothly without the months of waiting that usually accompanies a monthly comic that falls behind schedule. The first collected edition Welcome To Lovecraft acts as a prologue to the story proper and will have you hooked in the first few pages.

There is a sense of whimsy and magic found in Locke & Key that might draw comparisons to lighter works but it is Hill's reluctance to sugar-coat that places the series with more mature works like Pan's Labyrinth or The Stand. There are some rough and chilling sequences here but the book's supernatural elements coupled with Gabriel Rodriguez's perfect "never-too-dark," borderline "cartoony" art keep (at least in my opinion) the work accessible to even squeamish audiences.

There are great characters, creepy villains and even some touching moments but I think what I love most about the book is just the feeling of sheer "freshness." There may have been stories (kind of) like this one before, but none of them were ever told in this way. The comic book format allows for a much bigger story, and gives Hill time to linger on smaller characters and plot lines that really allow the story to "pop." Aside from being "some kinda genius" Hill must also be one hell of a juggler because the sprawling nature of the story never undercuts the overall feeling of suspense that nags at the reader on every page. This synthesis of great writing and art makes Locke & Key a totally unique and rewarding experience.

If you've never stepped foot in a comic book store in your life, that is no excuse. If you like horror or have any interest in a story well-told you should run down to your local comic shop and stock up on either the collected editions or the single issues. Oh and while you're there get the first volume of Scalped...and The Boys....and Ex Machina.....okay, I'll stop now.

It Came From The East: Volume 1

The first installment of my new ongoing column over at Macabre Cadaver is up now. I want to shed some light on some great works of Asian horror that I don't feel get the respect they deserve. Hopefully this will be weekly or at the very least bi-weekly. In this article I look at Ryu Murakami's short novel In the Miso Soup and Tsui Hark's 1980 film We're Going to Eat You.

Here's the link.

Enjoy!